If the Internet Was a Company, Would You Buy It?

We buy tech stocks, but we might feel hesitant about buying the internet, as our satirical video explores.

Ollie Smith 27 September, 2022 | 4:08AM Sunniva Kolostyak
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Sunniva Kolostyak: Shares in internet.com have been on an upward steer for many, many years, but we think they're overvalued. And crucially, our analysts attach a high uncertainty rating to them, meaning the consequences of owning them could be very poor indeed.

Ollie Smith: Internet.com has provided shareholders with explosive gains over the years, but its impact on its user base has been mixed at best and at worst, detrimental. At one point, we were celebrating the ease with which we could interact with long lost friends, community groups and planned parties people would actually turn up to. But it wasn't long before the rot set in.

Kolostyak: In 2022, the internet is a hive of the sociative psychological disorder.

Smith: Racial hatred.

Kolostyak: Apparently illegitimate regime change, and addiction.

Smith: The young turned to it for instant gratification while the old sup on the confirmation of every prejudice they've ever had but were afraid to air in the workplace.

Kolostyak: As such, we attached a high uncertainty rating to internet.com's extensive suite of products. Serves of r@cist are up, for instance, but it's not entirely clear whether consumers see that as a bad thing…

Smith: …when it definitely, definitely is. Likewise, subscriptions to the company's echo chamber social media platform are higher than they ever were in 2009, but there is dwindling support for the 1 like = Respect product range and the terrible stink over a video of a CEO crying on LinkedIn.

Kolostyak: Finally, there's never been a better time to be a user of internet.com's influencer platform, but equally, there's never been a worse time to use it if you want to become one.

Smith: Even that sentence was sponsored by internet.com because it's intent on eating itself and producing nothing of any value in the process. Taking all this into account, we don't think internet.com is a bargain at all, let alone a buy, but we know that you will. Go on – swipe right.

Kolostyak: Swipe right.

James Gard: Hey, Google, is now a good time to buy stocks?

Google: Sorry. I don't know how to help with that. Here are other things you can try.

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Ollie Smith   is editor of Morningstar UK.

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